The idea of confessing one’s sins to a Catholic Priest may seem a bit odd to those who were not brought up in the Catholic teaching (and even to some who were), and so I am sometimes asked about why this is necessary. Why can’t I simply confess my sins to God? The short answer to the last question is, you can, and should confess your sins directly to God, and do so with complete repentance in your heart. This is ALWAYS part of the process of seeking God’s forgiveness and mercy. However, that is only part of the equation in the Catholic teaching. Before I go to much farther, I want to clarify something, the word Catholic simply means universal, the Catholic Church was not a denomination that emerged after the Protestant reformation which required defining. The Universal Church had always existed since the time of Christ, and it draws many of its traditions and teachings from those that would have been observed by Jesus and the rest of the Jewish people of that day, and well before. The confessing of one’s sins is one of those areas rooted in this, but also very much in the New Testament, and is directly rooted in the mission that Jesus Christ gave his disciples.

First, let’s talk about the ancient tradition of confessing one’s sins. The Levitical Priests of the time followed what was present in several of the Old Testament scriptures, and specifically the book of Leviticus, in Leviticus 19:20-22 a good example is provided (see below).

“With the ram of the reparation offering the priest shall make atonement before the Lord for the wrong the man has committed, so that he will be forgiven for the wrong he has committed.”

The Levitical Priest is called upon to make atonement for the sins committed, and as part of that is acting as an intercessor so that the sin will be forgiven. This is the root of that tradition in the Old Testament, and it is one that would have been followed in Jesus’ time.

Jesus, however, was a game changer on many levels, and one of them is how we can be healed of our sins. Remember, in Leviticus, the word atonement is used as the action that the Priest provides in the equation. Jesus on the other hand is able to forgive sins, and so directly heal those who are afflicted by sin. He saw this as a much higher priority than the physical healings He performed, and yet He also often paired the two together. In the narrative of the paralytic lowered down to him through the roof (Mathew 9:1-8), the first thing He says is that the man’s sins are forgiven, then and only then, does he heal him physically. Yet he also tells them in many instances to sin no more, such as the healing of the man lying ill by the pool of Bethesda, or the woman caught in the act of adultery.

 John 5:14-15

“Look, you are well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may happen to you.”

John 8:1-11

” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin anymore.”^[1]

Sin in that time was seen as directly linked to one’s overall condition, and this has not changed when we consider the complete person. For this reason, Jesus knew that the people would need to be able to receive forgiveness and healing on a continuing basis, and He also knew that as part of that they would need to be counseled to sin no more and instructed on how to avoid sin in the future. To accomplish this, He commissioned His Disciples to forgive sins and heal the people from the corruption that comes from it. In John’s Gospel we hear the narrative of the commissioning of the Disciples, those who were the forerunners of the Priests and Bishops of today.

John 20:21-23

“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” ²² And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the holy Spirit. ^23 n Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” ^[2]

This was the New Testament root of the practice of having one’s sins heard and forgiven through the intercession of a Priest. Jesus had a purpose with every word that He spoke, and this is certainly no exception. He knew that the people would need to continue to be guided and held accountable for their conduct, because He knew only too well human nature, and that His creations would require this to be sound in spirit and body. This is the essence of the healing that takes place in the confessional, the priest is not there to simply listen to us confess the wrongs we have done, he is not there to judge, he is there to allow Jesus to work through him, just as he worked through His disciples to provide forgiveness through administering Absolution in the name of Jesus Christ, and healing to the people. To council the people to sin no more and to provide insight into how to avoid the same mistakes in the future, all of this is part of that healing and forgiveness that takes place through interactions with the Priest. When we are forgiven, by definition we are truly penitent of our actions because we know the wrong, we committed, and should be determined to try to avoid sin in the future, just as our Lord warned so that we would not continue to be afflicted by sin. This does not usually happen on its own but comes from intervention to help change behaviors. This comes about through the continued work of His disciples who have the commission from Him to pursue this ministry.

The ministry of helping others through the forgiveness of sins is received through the imposition of hands and the reception of the Holy Spirit that occurs at ordination and is completely centric to the ordained priesthood. This is not to be confused with the common priesthood which calls all of us to spread Gods word but is the unique extension of those specifically chosen by Jesus Christ to go forth with the mission of forgiving the sins of the people. He chose the Twelve specifically for this, not all men, and this specific mission through joining those chosen through apostolic succession continues to this day.

2 Corinthians 5:18-21

¹⁸ And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation, ¹⁹ namely, God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹ For our sake He made Him to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him. ^[3]

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Today we celebrate the day when our Lord sent his angel to tell Mary of His plan for bringing His Son into our world. He did not command, He informed of His intention, and allowed Mary to accept and be a part of it. In response, our Blessed Mother humbly accepted His plan even though she did not understand all the particulars, or how it could possibly be accomplished. This was an incredible leap of faith, for a young girl, yet with only one simple question asked, she then humbly accepted God’s plan.

The question that Mary asked the angel, was simply how she could possibly conceive a child since she was not yet married. The angel in reply told her that it would be by God’s power, and that was all she needed to know, the rest (and there was a lot there to be considered), she simply left up to God, knowing that He could, and would, handle all of it. To truly grasp the enormity of this faith in God’s plan, we need to fully grasp what was involved. She was a young virgin, who was engaged and not yet living with her soon-to-be husband, Joseph. To conceive a child in that state meant that she would not only have to explain this to her betrothed, but that she could be found guilty of adultery by the people, and be sentenced to death. Yet she asked about none of this, and simply took it upon faith that Our Lord would handle all of this. How many of us find it difficult to place even the smaller things in our lives in God’s hands? We try to control and shape every aspect of our lives, and very often God’s plan, and his intentions for us are more of an afterthought. We have it backward. As we progress in this Lenten season, we need to meditate on changing this way of thinking, and instead look to our Lord first in all things, and to trust in His plan.

I think that most of us, at one time or another pray that our faith may be strengthened. Very often this is during a time of crisis or trial, and we are not at peace. At some level, we know that we are in God’s hands, every one of us, and yet we have doubts, and fears, and anxiety. Our enemy knows every one of our weaknesses intimately and will use these in a full onslaught designed to destroy our hope and to create doubt in what we know to be true so that it doesn’t always feel like we know it. This is his most powerful tactic because once our hope is compromised, we can feel separated from God, and we are therefore vulnerable. Our fears and emotions are used to override our reason and intellect, and the resulting chaos is ripe for evil to do its work.

There is a difference between what I will call emotional knowledge (things we casually believe, but which we allow to be subject to all of the range of emotions, including the negative ones because we don’t quite trust in them completely), and intellectual knowledge (these things we know to be true, based on experience, learning, and evidence which we see as relatively immutable). We are all subject to both of these forms of knowledge or belief, but our goal for those things that are truly important is to have them on the more concrete footing of intellectual knowledge. Now, I want to be careful here, I am not saying that all things can be explained, proven, or believed in solely through our human intellect. No, for the most important of our beliefs, there is also faith required. Faith, however, is not directly equatable to emotion (even though we will sometimes feel great emotion during our expression of our faith). Still, it is more than that, more than just strong feelings, it is a mix of knowledge passed on, the evidence we continue to accumulate throughout our lives, and then the humility and trust to allow room for those pieces of evidence that do not have the capacity to prove through conventional means. True faith and intellect are not at all at odds.

We know that as human beings our capacity to explain or test for evidence of things we cannot readily explain is rather limited. We also know that the evidence for God’s existence and loving interaction with humanity is frankly overwhelming, and yet our belief can be one of the first casualties in terms of trusting in His loving plan when we are truly pressed. We ask God to give us faith to get through these times, and we sometimes even chastise ourselves for not having sufficient faith to sustain us. What I think we miss (at least I know I have, and probably will continue to at times – I am a work in progress) is that our faith is in part predicated on trust, as well as grace. We know that we can have only limited trust in ourselves because our abilities are so finite. Anything we feel in terms of true control of our lives is largely an illusion. I actually believe we instinctually trust in God more than we realize or will admit to at a more conscious level, because to do that would require us to quantify that trust and stop being so intellectually lazy. I say that I believe in God, but if that is so, then why when the chips are down, do I worry so incessantly? I suspect that perhaps it’s because when all those negative emotions come flooding in, I have not done my intellectual due diligence to make my belief less vulnerable, in other words, moved them from emotional to intellectual intelligence.  Saint Padre Pio told us to “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayers”. This is probably the best summation of what our life philosophy should be, but it is still easier said than done. The only way to shift our belief from emotional to intellectual knowledge is to gain intimacy with what we believe. With intimacy comes a secure foundation. The rooted knowledge we will hold to be true, no matter what life throws at us. A knowledge that we reflexively hold to be unshakeable at our very core. We gain this kind of intimacy through building a strong relationship, and through experience. We build our relationship through time spent in solitude and prayer, through receiving the Sacraments, and in communion with others who believe (our brothers and sisters in our family in Christ), and the experience can be gained through study and reflection of who God is through the written word and healthy discourse.

I have never been disappointed with any of my time spent learning about God – even when looking into the toughest of questions. One of the most amazing aspects of our faith is the solidity of its history and theology. True, there have been imperfect people involved in our history, but that is the human condition. God, however, is unchanging in what he wants for us. There is no such thing as a topic within our faith that cannot be discussed/explained, as much as our faculties will allow us. Nothing is off the table. There is no need to fear anything we might find. As we peel back the layers and learn more about who it is we want to place our faith in, the more we will gain in reasons to trust, and ultimately whom our faith is always secure in – our loving God.

The issue of non-Catholics being unable to receive communion at the Mass, is one of the more painful that we all have to deal with. The most common perception of being unable to receive communion is that we are discriminating against non-Catholics by not allowing them to receive Christ’s body and blood. I can understand the frustration and hurt that comes from such a perception, and frankly it tears me up inside when I see this. What’s really odd though, is that the truth is the exact opposite. This is going to require a bit of explanation, so bear with me on this.

As Catholics, we believe in something called transubstantiation. This basically means that we do not see the communion hosts and the wine that are consecrated during the Mass, as being simple bread and wine any longer. We see these as being truly the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Why, you might ask do we not see these as being symbolic – simple, because Christ explicitly said this was so. When you read the bible and begin to see the linguistic patterns and styles used, it becomes pretty apparent when Jesus words are intended as metaphor vs. when He is speaking plainly. There are two key areas where things get VERY real in terms of his message to us about Communion. The first is in John 6:53 where Jesus tells those following Him that if they do not eat his flesh and drink his blood, they do not have life within them. His words are so direct and so controversial for Jews, that many cannot accept them, and many fall away. Only the twelve remain. Jesus knew this would happen, but it did not stop Him from speaking this truth. The second is in Luke 22:7-38, which is his account of the last supper. In verse 20 specifically, Jesus tells them that within the cup is the new covenant in His blood. Be very careful with your understanding of this, HE IS MAKING A COVENANT – this cannot by definition involve symbolic gestures, this is a blood oath between God and man. We are told very directly to continue to celebrate this covenant in remembrance of Him. His words are clearly not being used in parable or metaphor, these instructions are about as real as it gets. He knows that there is not time for anything else. For these reasons, we as Catholics take communion VERY seriously and require appropriate preparation in order to receive it worthily. If we believed this was mere symbolism, frankly we would not be so stringent.

If you are a practicing Catholic, you are held to certain standards when receiving communion. You CANNOT receive if you know that you are in a state of mortal sin, as you would be taking Christ’s flesh and blood unworthily and placing them into a filthy vessel. If we were able to meet the God of the universe bodily, would we invite Him into our home if it was filthy? I suspect not, I think we would clean things up a bit first. This is where the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession as it is sometimes called, comes in.  As a Catholic, you MUST partake of this Sacrament at some point before receiving communion, in order to receive Christ’s body and blood worthily. We hold ourselves to this standard, so why would we not hold others to the same?

If someone is a non-Catholic, they likely have not received the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and so have not been able to fulfill the same expectations we hold ourselves to as Catholics. We would not knowingly let a fellow Catholic receive communion in an unworthy state, because we see this as sacrilegious and an additional grave sin. If we allowed a non-Catholic to do the same, we would be doing them a serious disservice by causing them to further sin as well. We see this as showing the same concern for the non-Catholic, as for a Catholic. How could we do any less?

If someone who is not Catholic believes that what they would receive at communion in the Catholic Mass is truly the body and blood of Jesus Christ, then they are probably not that far from becoming Catholic’s themselves. We should really talk at that point, about what this could mean to them, and how we should pursue this. Nothing, but nothing, would make me happier than to see them in the communion line eventually. On the other hand, if the nature of communion as the true body and blood of Jesus Christ is not something you are prepared to accept, then I would ask you to please see things from our perspective and understand why this difference in beliefs would preclude you from taking communion at a Catholic Mass, and respect our beliefs as well. While you might not receive communion, we still very much want you to participate. I would ask you to still come up for communion, but with your arms folded across your chest, so that you can receive a blessing and prayer from myself, or anyone else distributing communion, and I would ask for your prayers as well at that time. We could both pray that we eventually come to a better understanding of our Lord, and hopefully one day, continue again to celebrate as one family in Christ.

We’re coming up on the season of Advent, and I tend to get a bit more introspective this time of year. This year though, there were two very external events that got me more into that mode than usual. The first was this past Sundays first reading (33^rd Sunday in ordinary time) from the prophet Daniel. He alerted us about the two fates that await each of us as the end of time   (see the passage below).

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Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake; some shall live forever, others shall be an everlasting horror and disgrace.

“

Daniel uses two key words in describing the fate of condemnation – horror and disgrace. Horror is analogous to fear, and this is one of the favorite tactics of the adversary. If we are afraid, we are diminished in our ability to deal with things, and often this can lead to hopelessness. This is exactly what Satan wants, to have us give up, and remain in a state of sin. Perceived disgrace is another tool that he favors, because it pairs with resentment, and a hardening of our hearts to whatever we feel we have been slighted or disgraced over, and our ability to forgive is damaged. All of these things keep us from spiritual healing and mending our relationship with God and with others. If we allow ourselves to be left in such a state, the situation is one of horrible self-fulfillment of the prophets warning.

We need to instead, embrace the opportunities this upcoming season of preparation affords us. We need to spend time in reflection, and self-examination of our relationships. We need to reach out and mend that which is broken. We need to go to confession and unburden ourselves of the load that has accumulated. Only then can we truly be part of the season of peace and fulfillment that we are anticipating when we celebrate Christs birth.

At Mass this past Sunday, there was a situation that frankly threw me for a loop at first. During the intercessory prayers one of our family at Saint Bernadette’s was praying very loudly and earnestly for forgiveness and for relief from the things that bound him. He eventually came before the altar and fell to his knees and cried before our Lord as be prayed. I didn’t know quite what to make of it for a moment, but then it hit me, out of all of us there, this man had the absolute right idea. He didn’t care who was watching, he didn’t care that this was out of the “norm” for our Sunday Mass ritual, he knew what he needed, and to whom he needed to present his petitions. It really moved me, and I suspect many of those around me. We should all feel so uninhibited in our pleas, because the only one that truly matters, is the One who sees all with no judgement about appearances, but only of what is really on the mind and heart.

The highlight of my week happens each Sunday, when I am able to experience with my Church family the solemnity and joy that is the Eucharistic part of the liturgy. When I distribute Communion, I am awestruck by what I see in the faces of the people receiving. There is a joy and solemnness that I see nowhere else. Each person seems to grasp how close this encounter with Jesus Christ is, and the intimacy involved.

There is another side of this experience though, that is extremely painful to me as the cleric distributing Communion, and to the person who may not be able to receive it. I am not referring to when someone comes up to me with their arms crossed, perhaps because they have not had a chance to go to confession yet and must wait until next week. I am referring to the person who is perhaps unable to receive the Sacrament due to a more lasting circumstance. Yet even there, I see grace at work, they are at Mass, there is the desire to maintain their relationship with Jesus, even if Sacramentally there are some limitations. This pursuit of their relationship with God, and their persistence, will not go unrecognized.

There is one other circumstance that I sometimes encounter, and that can be painful, and often misunderstood. That is when someone who is not Catholic cannot receive Communion at Mass. This is very disheartening for someone who is used to receiving each Sunday, but when they come to visit our Church they cannot. This is a long lasting repercussion of the Reformation, that continues to divide us to this day. As Catholics we believe in Transubstantiation, which means we believe that the bread and the wine that is placed on the altar, are transformed during the Epiclesis of the Mass, into the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. This happens mystically, but is based on the very clear statements that Jesus gave us at the last Supper (Matthew 26:26-28).

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While they were eating, Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to his disciples said, “Take and eat; this is my body.”^* k27Then he took a cup, gave thanks,^* and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you,28^l for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins.

“

Notice the word covenant in the last line, this is not a word used at all lightly by the people, and certainly not by a prophet. The blood of the pascal sacrifice which saved us all, the blood of the Perfect Lamb Jesus, was not to be relegated to simple wine or a symbol. Moreover, if you read John 6:51-68)

“

I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.”^a52The Jews quarreled among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us [his] flesh to eat?”53Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.54Whoever eats^* my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.55For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.56Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.57Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me.^b58This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever.”59These things he said while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum. 60Then many of his disciples who were listening said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?”61Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, “Does this shock you?62What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?^*63It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh^* is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.64But there are some of you who do not believe.” Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.^c65And he said, “For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father.”66As a result of this, many [of] his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.67Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?”68Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

“

Pay attention to the wording here, it is extremely clear from the standpoint of the language that our Lord uses, that this is not a parable – he is being very direct, and there is a direct purpose at work here. Jesus knows who will leave, and who will stay, despite His statements that for a Jew of that time period (remember the Jewish people were surrounded by pagan tribes that practiced blood sacrifice and cannibalism) would be extremely distressing and would appear to violate the law. This controversial address to those present left Him with the twelve, who would take His word on faith.  This distinction in belief is the core of why as Catholics we treat communion differently. We believe that if someone is receiving the true body and blood of Jesus Christ, there is a specific manner in which they must be prepared. Belief is obviously the first step, but there is more. In order to receive one must do so in a worthy manner (see 1 Corinthians 11:26-29)

 

For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes. 27 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself, if he does not judge the body rightly.

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For Catholics this means that if you have not been to confession and received absolution, you would be receiving the actual body and blood of our Lord (again due to transubstantiation) in an unworthy manner. We would not want to place someone in this position either intentionally or unintentionally, so we are very careful about how we hold the Eucharistic portion of the Liturgy, and if we know that someone is present who does not believe these same things, and has not prepared themselves accordingly, we will request that they instead spend the time in reflection and prayer. We are not trying to exclude, we would LOVE to have everyone come to the understanding of the nature of Communion within the Mass, but until that happens, this is our best recourse for everyone’s sake.

I had the privilege of attending my first Shabbat service this evening, at the Beth Shalom Synagogue in Raleigh. My initial reason for going was to show support, and unity, with the members of the Jewish community, which suffered a horrific tragedy earlier this week in Pittsburgh. As I was doing a bit of research about the service, it occurred to me that I was in some sense going back to our roots as Catholics and Christians. Jesus was, after all, a Jew. As I sat there at the service reading from the prayer book, I couldn’t help but take notice of the many linguistic similarities (for instance the use of the word “Amen”), as well as some of the similarities in the Sacramentals used in the Synagogue. The prayers recited reflected many of the same attributes of those we recite as Christians, and obviously some of the readings from what we term as the Old Testament were familiar territory. Moreover, I have a new found respect for anyone who can read Hebrew characters, and successfully pronounce much of the language. It seemed at first unusual to me, to not speak of Jesus, and yet when I heard the prayers and pleas for God’s love, care, and mercy, I knew these were addressing the same God, what we term as Trinitarian believers as God the Father. As I was walking out, I had the urge to ask questions about the service, and perhaps have some discourse about our theologically different perspectives, but tonight was not the night for that, tonight was simply a night to come together as the human beings, as God’s children, and show support for one another. Still, I don’t think I am done with attending some of the Shabbat services, there is still much I want to learn about our Jewish roots.

I guess the title of this post deserves a bit of explanation. As a deacon, one of the things that I have never understood is the a la carte’ approach that seems to sometimes be applied to our faith. This doesn’t just happen with laity, I have seen this with clergy as well, which to me is even more disturbing. If you profess to be a Catholic, whether they are socially in vogue or not, there are certain things that you are called to believe and uphold. To approach any faith requires a degree of humility that I see as quickly diminishing in our society because people misinterpret it as weakness. It is in fact, the opposite of weakness, it means being strong enough to step outside ourselves enough to allow our faith to be guided by God and His Church. This is not always comfortable for us. In some cases we seem to be ready to embrace social whims and public opinion more readily than the teachings of the church we profess to be a part of. I will give an example, as a matter of fact, I will start this with what is perhaps the biggest bombshell of an example that currently divides our Catholic beliefs from secular society, many other denominations of Christianity, and many other religions. That is of course the issue of life. If you are a Catholic, you believe that life is sacred, and that is begins at conception, and ends with natural death – period. There is no other valid interpretation. If you do not accept this core teaching, to be blunt, you need to think about what you really believe, and whether you perhaps need to pursue some spiritual tuning. The same is true of the belief that the Holy Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Christ, that the one trinitarian God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, that Mary is the mother of God and is worthy of veneration, that God created our universe and all mankind, etc. I’m not going to do the exhaustive list of Catholic core beliefs, but you get the idea. Even if you have questions about some of these beliefs, and in some cases struggle with them, that is ok. BTW – contrary to modern opinion, struggle is not always a bad thing, it means your paying attention and that your using the intellect God gave you to actually think about things. If you never struggle with your faith, quite frankly your probably not doing it right. So how does all this apply to the Catholic Church’s views? In short, it means being willing to examine what you believe, and if there are areas where you are not in alignment with Church on it’s core teachings, to pursue those through study, or failing to find resolution with that, by discussing it with your priest to try to come to an understanding. I can say in all honesty, that when I have taken the time to pursue an area where I find myself questioning Catholic teaching, I have yet to be disappointed in the research that has already taken place on the part of the Church to develop its doctrine. The idea here is to work at these areas, not going through life picking and choosing what you believe, and treating it as your personal version of Catholicism. There is only one set of teachings, if we are going to call ourselves Catholics, we need to be both familiar with, and at peace with them.

Thanks for joining me!

To develop our faith requires the willingness to go places that are sometimes uncomfortable, and perhaps complex. We’re not meant to do this alone, as God created the structure of His Church to be comprised of living stones, and as such we support one another with our thoughts, deeds, and discourse.