In our Gospel today, we hear about our Lord’s appearance to His disciples after His resurrection. I remember thinking to myself when I was younger that I couldn’t believe their first reaction was that of doubt and fear – He was standing right in front of them! How could they doubt, how could they not be overjoyed right out of the gate? These days though, I can understand this a bit better; Perhaps life experiences allow me to see more clearly how flawed I truly am, and just how little faith I can sometimes exhibit. I see things now through the eyes of someone who believes, but who has also seen how sometimes I can forget and lose sight of my belief and the priorities that come with that. It’s easy to do. The world is constantly trying to distract and draw us away from our faith. It happened to those who were with Jesus, and it can happen to us.
The first time I read this Gospel, I can remember thinking to myself – Wow, if only I had been there and seen what the apostles had seen, I would have no doubts. That’s an easy way of thinking to slip into. It appeals to our physical humanity. If only I could see, hear, touch, smell, or taste something, then I would believe it easily. The reality is actually quite a bit different. We are only partially physical creatures, and the evidence that the senses provide us is often incomplete because it does not take into account the rest of our nature, the truer side of ourselves. This is the side that is spirit, and it is this side that is subject to the fallout from original sin, and can sense, process, and discern far more than we often give it credit for. It also has the ability to allow us to either ignore our faith and live in doubt and fear, or accept what only this side of ourselves can perceive, and live in belief and harmony with Jesus as we make our way through this physical existence with the hope of the world yet to come. Think about this for a second: the apostles had been with Jesus for about three years when all of this came to pass, and our Lord died on the cross, and was then resurrected and appeared before them, and yet their first reaction was not joy. They had already seen Him perform miracle after miracle, heal those who seemed beyond help, and raise those from the dead who were beyond hope of continuing in this life. They had heard His message, they had been told specifically that He would die and then rise after three days, and yet when this took place right on time as He said it would – they couldn’t get past fears and doubts without some reassurance from Him. This is how wounded and flawed we are in this life – all of us. We can say that if we had been there and seen Jesus, we would have no issues with doubts or beliefs. But the fact is, the sensory experience is NOT enough, and it never will be. To truly assuage our doubts and fears requires experience and evidence that comes not from our physical senses, but from our hearts when they allow themselves to accept what we innately know to be true. We have to listen to that quiet voice within that comes from our soul, and we need to listen to God’s words through our individual time in prayer, meditation, and study, and we need to come together and be in front of our Lord physically in the celebration of the Mass. It is ONLY through our pursuit of Him at the spiritual level that we will attain true belief and intimacy with Him. Why? Simply put, it is because it is through the senses of our spirit that He can bestow on each of us the grace of understanding. Yet to do this, we must make a place within ourselves that welcomes Him. We must make a home for Him to reside in. Our Lord gave us free will because He loves us, and wants us to freely love Him, so it is only through our welcoming Him into ourselves that this can happen in light of the freedom He has given us. This Easter season, let’s sweep ourselves clean and make our houses welcoming dwellings for Him. Let’s invite Him into our hearts by the way we pursue Him and learn about Him and focus our lives on Him. This is the key to our happiness; It is the only key. Everything outside of an intimacy with Christ is transitory and of relatively little consequence to our happiness. Material things will fade in their ability to gratify, people will sometimes disappoint us, all the sensory pleasures of this life will be inadequate and will not last. We’ve all experienced this kind of let down before. This is yet another piece of the evidence we should be considering that points toward us being far less creatures of the physical, and far more creations of the spirit. Embrace our Lord, feel His embrace in return through what only your soul can reveal to you, and know true happiness and peace.
Podcast Link
The Deacons Bench 